This is a weird and uncomfortable feeling. You love your friend and would never imagine doing any of the things they are doing. But now that you’re aware of what’s happening, you’re trying to come up with a plan to handle it.
This is a question many people have and will often ask themselves when they find out that their friend has been acting just like them for the past few weeks.
Whether your friend is too much like you or not, it’s important to take steps to help this person stop doing what you don’t want them to do.
If we talk briefly, there are three important steps to handle the situation where your friend is copying your personality.
3 Step Solution
1) Awareness
This is the first stage of the situation. You’re aware that your friend is copying you, but you’re not sure of what to do about it. At this stage, you can’t really do anything about this situation. You’ll just have to wait until your friend realizes that they’re being a copycat and stop trying to act like you.
2) Plan for how to handle it
This is the second stage of the situation. At this stage, you’re aware that your friend is copying you and you’re planning on what to do about it. You’re probably thinking about how to avoid the situation and you’re trying to come up with ways of dealing with your friend. When you’re at this stage, you’ll have to try real hard to avoid the situation and deal with it as soon as possible because it can get pretty annoying.
3) Overcome it and move on
This is the third stage of the situation. At this stage, you’ve overcome the situation and have stopped letting your friend copy you. If so, you can enjoy yourself with your friend by thanking him/her. If they’re still copying you and hanging around, then you can either ignore it or tell them that you don’t want to be around them anymore.
Now, let’s move towards the detailed steps that will help you overcome this situation.
What to do exactly in detail
1. Figure out why your friend is copying your personality
It’s important to find out why your friend is copying you because once you do that, it’ll be easier to stop them.
Did they read your diary? Did they watch a movie and decide that you were the most interesting character? Or did your friend have a completely different personality before?
Those are all questions to ask yourself and your friend. It might be harder to stop them from copying you because even if you change your personality, they’ll just copy you again when you start acting like yourself. But if they are copying you because they feel like you’re a better person, then show them why your old personality is better.
You should also realize that people don’t want to change their entire personalities, just the parts of it that they don’t like.
Why does my friend copy my personality?
- They want to be just like you. This could mean that your friend has a crush on you or just really admires you.
- It could be that your friend wants to know how you feel. Maybe your friend is very sensitive and they want to figure out what you think about things in order to be more like you.
- They may have a bad habit, and they want to stop it in order to be more like you.
- They might want to copy your personality because they feel like you have a better personality than the one they have.
- They may be using you as a role model. They might look up to you and want to be like you.
- It could be just because they’re interested in knowing everything about you. Maybe they’ve been watching you for a while and want to know more about you.
- They might be copying you because they want to be the same as you. Maybe they’re not liked in school or at home, and so you’re their idol. If this is the case, then find out if this is correct and help them see that what they are doing is wrong.
- It might just be a temporary phase. You might see your friends act like you for a few weeks, but then they’ll slowly start acting their own again.
It’s important to figure out why your friend is copying your personality because that will help you stop them from doing it.
Once you know the reason behind why they are copying your personality, then you can try different things to stop them.
2. Once you figure out why your friend is copying you, tell them that they need to change their behavior because it’s getting on your nerves
The next step is to talk to your friend about this and tell them to stop copying you. It’s very important that you are calm when you tell them this, otherwise, they might just get angrier. It’s important that you explain yourself and don’t let them interrupt because they may have a reason for copying what you say or do.
Let them know that you are upset about the fact that they’re copying you and tell them that they need to change their behavior. If they ask why, explain yourself calmly. They might not want to change their behavior, but if they don’t agree, then tell them that you will stop being friends with them if they don’t change their behavior.
If they ask why, here are some of the explanations that you can provide on why they should no be copying your personality:
- “You can’t be identical to me, otherwise, it’s just creepy. I understand that you’re my friend, but I don’t want to be friends with someone who just acts like me.”
- “You’re already a great personality without copying mine. If you stop copying me, then everyone will see how interesting you are. I’m your friend, so I don’t want to see you make yourself more boring by acting like me.”
- “If you keep copying me, then people will think that we’re weird or something. They might think that you’re a copycat or something.”
- “Can’t we both be just like our personality? Why do you have to copy me? It’s so annoying.”
- “You have a nice personality. You don’t need to copy mine.”
- “It makes me feel bad if you’re doing everything I say or if you’re interested in things that I’m interested in. You should be your own person and stop copying mine.”
- “You’ll get an entirely wrong idea of me if you keep copying everything I do. You’ll think that I’m exactly like you, which is just wrong.”
- “If I am a role model to you, then you shouldn’t copy my personality because it’s not going to help you in life.”
You can proceed with the conversation in a really humble way. Here is an example:
You: Hey, I noticed that you started acting like me. Let me know if you don’t want to anymore because I don’t feel comfortable if my friend is doing everything I do and wants to be exactly like me.
Friend: Ok, sorry about that. I just like being the same as you.
You: But why? You’re already a great person without copying mine.
Friend: Well, I want to be more like you because you’re such a good friend and it makes me feel better to be like you.
You: Yeah, I understand that you’re my friend and that it makes you feel good to be like me, but the truth is that I don’t feel comfortable with it. And you have a great personality without copying mine.
Friend: I’ll try to stop.
You: Thanks.
3. If your friend is copying you because they feel like you’re a better person, then show them why their old personality is better.
To convince your friend that they shouldn’t copy you, you have to find a better way to make them realize how their old personality is better. There will be times when they are following your personality because they like it, but there will also be times when they’re copying you because they want to see how great you are. Try to figure out which one it is.
If it’s because they want to see how great you are, then tell them why their old personality is better. Tell them that they already have a great personality and that their old ones are way more interesting.
Make sure that you focus on positive aspects while trying to change their behavior. Don’t focus on their negatives, instead, focus on their positives. Focus on the things that they like about their old personality and not the opposite.
Don’t try to make them change their personality because it’s a bad thing, instead, try to make them change it because it’s a good thing. Tell them that if they change their personality, then they’ll become more likable. Here’s an example conversation:
4. If your friend still doesn’t listen, then keep talking about this to them until they understand.
We sometimes fail to convince people because they are just stubborn. They want to do something that we don’t want them to do so we tell them not to, but they ignore us and continue doing it. When this happens, you have to be persistent with your goal.
Ask your friend why they seriously want to copy you and tell them that it can’t continue. Tell them over and over again until they understand and agree with what you’re saying. Don’t stop until they give in and agree. Tell them that they shouldn’t copy you anymore because if they do, then everyone may think that they are copying you just because it’s easier.
Ask them why they continue to copy you and try to figure out the answer. Don’t be aggressive or rude, but keep being persistent until they realize that what you’re saying is true and stop copying you.
5. Make your friend realize they shouldn’t copy your personality
When you discuss this with your friend over and over again, they might start listening to you. If they ignore it and continue doing it, convincing them may be hard since they are stubborn and will sometimes ignore you if you keep telling them not to copy you.
But don’t give up on trying. If your friend doesn’t want to listen to you, then just keep telling them that they shouldn’t copy you. And if they still don’t listen to you, make them realize that they shouldn’t copy your personality.
Here are some things you can do to make your friend realize they shouldn’t copy your personality:
- Tell them how you feel when your friend copies you. Tell them about the times when their actions have hurt or upset you or made you feel terrible.
- Ask them what they want to do about it. You should try asking a lot of questions so that they can get used to the idea that copying you is not okay.
- Remind them that copying you makes them seem bad in other people’s eyes. If people see them copy your personality, then they will think that they’re not genuine.
6. Talk to someone else (a parent, teacher, counselor)
When the situation is serious enough, it’s good to talk to someone else about your situation. This could be your parents, a nearby teacher, or even an adult or a counselor you know.
You can tell them that you don’t like the fact that your friend is copying you so they should stop doing it because you don’t want them to be thought of as a copycat. Tell them that if they continue doing what they’re doing, they’ll make people think that they’re an awful person.
If you have a teacher nearby you can tell them about the situation and they might help you with it. Tell them that if they continue acting like this, people will think that they’re bad people. You can tell them why it’s bad and how they’ll look bad if people think that they’re awful.
How to talk to parents, teachers, or counselors?
a. Find a good place to talk
Make sure that it’s a quiet, calm place so you can have a nice conversation with them.
b. Tell them what’s happening
Tell them about the situation and be as nice as possible when doing so. This will help you seem honest and won’t make them think that you have a bad attitude. You should be like “I feel like I’m not myself anymore, and I don’t respect my friend anymore because of this.”
c. Listen to what they have to say
Listen carefully to what they have to say so you know if their ideas are good or not and if they can do it or not. e. Gather your thoughts.
d. Decide if they can help you with the situation or not
If they say that they can help you, ask them to do it and see how it goes.
7. If you don’t see any change, then consider starting the process over again.
If you still don’t see any change that your friend is making, then it’s time to starting over again from the beginning.
It’s important for you to research on how a good persuasive technique would look like so you can learn and apply them. Research how best to start your argument with an explanation of the situation and be sure that you’re going about it in the right way.
As it was said earlier, it’s important that you talk to someone about what’s going on. If you can’t see any progress in changing their behavior, then there’s a possibility that they’re not listening to you. If this happens, then I suggest talking to someone else about the situation and if possible, asking them to help you change your friend’s behavior.
Now, when you again start the process from the beginning, here are things to keep in mind:
a. Be more positive
If you were being negative in the beginning, then your friend may start doubting you. This can make him or her not want to change or not listen to you.
b. Use more examples to prove your point
You can also give them examples as to why copying your personality is wrong and why it’s not worth it. This will make your argument stronger and once again, you’ll have a better chance of convincing them.
c. Don’t give up easily
In order for this persuasion process to be effective, it’s important that you don’t give up easily when it doesn’t come easy at first. Try new things and find out what works best for your situation.
d. Be patient
This process may take some time, but don’t give up easily if you keep being persistent until they do what you want them to do.
8. Find ways to avoid this person.
If your friend still continues to copy you, avoid them as much as you can. Start avoiding them at school and in other places when you can. Once you do this, they’ll realize that you’re not going to allow them to copy your personality anymore, so they’ll stop acting like a copycat.
If you really hate this person for copying your personality, then I suggest that you just stop hanging out with them all together. Don’t tell them that you’re not going to hang out with them anymore, just go about your business and don’t talk to them. They won’t know if you’re avoiding them so they’ll never think to copy your personality again.
What happens if you avoid your friend?
a. You’ll feel better
When you don’t hang out with your friend, it’ll make you appreciate yourself a lot more. You’ll stop finding yourself in their shadow and start acting more like an individual than a copycat. Also, you’ll realize that you don’t need your friend in your life, you’re perfectly fine without them. When you can’t see them around or hear about them, it’ll let you stop thinking about your friend that much.
b. You won’t have to deal with the situation
You won’t have to deal with this situation anymore if you’re not around your friend and it’ll make you feel better.
c. You’ll be free to do what you want
When you’re no longer around your friend, you can start doing things that make you happy and act the way that makes you feel good. It’ll let you be yourself again and make it so that people see the real person inside of you.
d. You’ll get more friends
When you avoid your friend, it’ll make you feel better about yourself and as a result, you’ll start feeling better around other people. This will make it easier for you to get more friends because they’ll respect the way that you are.
e. Your friend may stop copying
They may stop copying your personality if you completely stop hanging out with them. If you avoid them long enough, they’ll realize that you don’t want to be around them anymore and that they can no longer act as a copycat. They’ll eventually realize that they need to be themselves and stop copying you.
f. You’ll have more time to do things
You’ll have more time to do your favorite hobbies and activities without having to worry about this friend, which means that you’ll have lots of fun with them!
What if your friend is always around you even if you try to avoid them?
If you try to avoid your friend but they’re always around you no matter what, then it means that they’re really dedicated to trying to get on your nerves. You’ll have a hard time dealing with this and it’ll make it so that you can’t do things for yourself. When they keep following you and not letting you do what you want, then you’ll need to come up with other ways to try and get rid of them. Here are things that you can try:
a. Counteract this behavior
If your friend is always trying to copy you, then don’t be afraid to act in a way that will make them think twice about copying you. Act differently from how they expect you to act and do things the way that makes you happy. If they’re used to you being quiet all the time, then start talking more and be more confident around people.
b. Avoid the situation
If this happens on a daily basis, then I suggest that you avoid them or go somewhere else so they can’t be around you. For example, when they follow you everywhere, then try to go somewhere else where they can’t follow you. If that doesn’t work, then just avoid them as much as possible and spend your time doing what makes you happy instead of following them around when you’re with your friends.
c. Get a third party to help you
Although it’s usually best to do things on your own, if you can’t avoid this person, then I suggest that you talk to other people about the situation. For example, if they’re always following you around and making fun of you when they’re around your friends, then try talking to your friends about this situation. Get them involved so that they can help you deal with this person.
d. Ignore them
If you know that this person keeps trying to copy you, then I suggest that you don’t say anything about it or even look at them. Act as if there’s nothing wrong and just ignore them completely and let them continue to do whatever they want without your help.
e. Tell them you don’t want to hang out with them anymore
If they’re still following you around and doing the same things that they’ve always done, then I suggest that you tell them that you don’t want to hang out with them anymore. If they keep following you, telling them that you don’t want to hang out with them anymore will make it so that they’re the one who has to leave.
Conclusion
To be honest, it’s not easy for us to handle them since we like our friends and we don’t want to hurt their feelings. But if your friend is copying you, then you have to handle it. If it’s a minor issue, just talk to them and tell them how you feel. If it’s something serious, then talk to someone or go to the school counselor or an adult about it.
The general advice is to work with your friend so that you can help them find the right characteristics to have.
If your friend stops copying you, then thank them. If they don’t stop, then tell them that this will be the last time that you talk to them if they keep copying your personality.
